63% of execs open this newsletter every week. Why? Because it’s blunt, useful, and occasionally rude about meetings.

Dear Reader

The day I peer-pressured thousands of adults

I need to confess something.

I didn’t grow my email open rate from 50% to 63% by becoming a better writer.

I wish I could tell you it was craft. Or discipline. Or a sudden surge of literary genius.

It was not.

It was mild, socially acceptable peer pressure. A psychological trick.

The kind you’d expect from teenagers behind a bike shed, not from a fully grown executive coach with a respectable thought leadership presence and a fondness for neuroscience.

And yet.

It worked.

It started innocently enough.

I was staring at my email stats like a child staring through a bakery window. So close to something delightful. Yet not quite inside.

Fifty percent open rate.

Objectively excellent.

Emotionally unacceptable. (Dramatic, I know!)

So I did what any rational, grounded, emotionally stable adult would do.

I decided to influence human behaviour.

The sentence that I used was almost embarrassingly simple:

“Most people are opening this.”

That’s it.

No fireworks. No Shakespeare. No clever metaphor involving wolves or oceans or burning ships.

Just… a quiet suggestion that other people were already doing the thing.

And suddenly:

→ More people opened
→ More people clicked
→ More people replied

Open rate average now: 63%

Which, for those of you who enjoy a spreadsheet-based dopamine hit, is a noticeable jump.

Now here’s the part that should make you slightly uncomfortable.

It worked not because the email was better.

It worked because humans hate being left out.

The psychology (or: why we copy each other like slightly anxious parrots)

There’s a concept in behavioural psychology called social proof.

It basically says:

When we’re unsure what to do… we look around and copy the majority.

Makes sense. Because it’s efficient.

If everyone else is doing something, your brain quietly goes:

“Ah. Safe. Approved. Proceed.”

It saves energy.

It reduces risk.

It protects your status.

Because nothing triggers the human nervous system with fear and existential dread quite like the thought:

“What if I’m the only one not doing this?”

That’s not a logical fear.

That’s a survival fear.

Here’s the slightly darker twist.

Even when we think we’re independent thinkers, we’re still influenced by what we believe others are doing.

Especially in ambiguous situations.

Like:

→ Should I read this email?​
Yes. Apparently 63% of leaders already are.

→ Should I try the new AI tool?​
Probably. Everyone else seems to be talking about how it's saving themselves three hours a week.

→ Should I challenge that decision?​
No. The room has silently agreed to keep nodding.

If the majority appears to be leaning one way, we follow.

Most of the time you won't even notice you or others are doing it.

The leadership implication (this is where it gets interesting)

Most leaders try to influence behaviour through:

• Logic
• Data
• Instructions
• Slightly passive-aggressive emails (been there, done that)

And then wonder why nothing changes.

It's because behaviour is rarely driven by information alone.

It’s driven by perception of norms.

What people think others are doing matters more than what they’ve been told to do.

Let me translate that into the leadership world.

If you want your team to:

→ Take ownership
→ Speak up
→ prioritise strategic work
→ adopt AI tools
→ stop copying you into emails like it’s a hobby

Then telling them is not enough.

You need to show them:

“This is what most people here are already doing.”

A simple (slightly sneaky) way to use this immediately

Instead of saying:

“Please start using this new process”

Try:

“Most of the team has already started using this, and it’s speeding things up.”

Instead of:

“I want more people contributing in meetings”

Try:

“The strongest discussions we’re having already are the ones where multiple people engage early.”

Instead of:

“You should focus on strategic work”

Try:

“The leaders who are progressing fastest right now are spending more time on strategic priorities.”

Notice the shift.

You’re not forcing behaviour.

You’re framing the norm.

And humans, being beautifully predictable, move toward it.

A word of caution (because this can go wrong)

This only works if it’s credible.

If you say:

“Everyone is doing this”

...and everyone knows they’re not…

...you lose trust faster than you can say “engagement survey.”

So the rule is simple:

Don’t fabricate the norm. Amplify the right one.

Find what’s already working.

Then make it visible.

The uncomfortable bit (but I know you can handle it)

People don’t just follow leaders.

They follow what they believe everyone else is doing.

Which means your job isn’t just to set direction.

It’s to shape perception.

Subtly and repeatedly.

Because culture is not built by announcements, town halls and posters.

It’s built by what people think is normal.

And now to the punchline

I didn’t improve my email.

I improved what people thought others were doing with my email.

And behaviour followed.

Which raises a slightly inconvenient question for you:

Where in your leadership are you trying to change behaviour…
without changing what people believe is normal?

Your executive coach,

Terez

PS: If part of you is thinking, “Hang on, was I just influenced?” and “Did she just prove the point by doing the thing?” yes. Yes indeed. Which means you now have first-hand evidence of how easily behaviour can shift with the right psychological solution. Use responsibly.

P.P.S. Want more? Book a connection call with me to explore simple, fast ways to get more impact at work.

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